Monday, April 20, 2009

Intelligence is the capacity to understand the world, think with rationality, and use resources effectively when faced with challenges.

-David Wechsler (author of several intelligence tests for children and adults)

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

A divorce that saved a marriage.. An anonymous story forwarded on my email.

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner,
I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell
you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed
the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was
thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory
answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love
her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce
agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The
woman who had spent ten years of her life with me
had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted
time, resources and energy but I could not take back
what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally
she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I
had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a
kind of release. The idea of divorce which had
obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer
and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found
her writing something at the table. I didn't have
supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep
very fast because I was tired after an eventful day
with Dew.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table
writing. I just did not care so I turned over and
was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions:
she didn't want anything from me, but needed a
month's notice before the divorce. She requested
that in that one month we both struggle to live as
normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple:
our son had his exams in a month's time and she
didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage

This was agreeable to me. But she had something
more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her
into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that everyday for the month's duration
I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door
every morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just
to make our last days together bearable I accepted
her odd request.

I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She
laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter
what tricks she applies, she has to face the
divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my
divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when
I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared
clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding
mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to
the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my
arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't
tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling
somewhat upset. I put
her down outside the door. She went to wait for the
bus to work. I drove alone to the office

On the second day, both of us acted much more
easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the
fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't
looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I
realized she was not young any more. There were fine
wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our
marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I
wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a
sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who
had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our
sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell
Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as
the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout
made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She
tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a
suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have
grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown
so thin, that was the reason why I could
carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain
and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I
reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's
time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father
carrying his mother out had become an essential part
of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come
closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away
because I was afraid I might change my mind at this
last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking
from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the
hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and
naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like
our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the
last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly
move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her
tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life
lacked intimacy.

I drove to office, jumped out of the car swiftly
without locking the door. I was afraid any delay
would make me change my mind. I walked upstairs.
Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I
do not want the divorce anymore.

-I had to cut to story because i'm running out of space for this post. This is a wakeup call for people who sees their relationship boring. Be creative. Try new things with your partner. Break the monotony

A teacher who changed my life.

I came across another article(this time an inspiring one) and I was moved. It was about a kid who was discovered to be totally deaf when he was three years old. He is Stephen J. Hopson from Michigan.

His parents decided to enroll him in a normal school (I remember Dick and Rick Hoyt, the father-and-son tandem who trekked 3,700+ miles across America despite the disability of Rick I strongly recommend watching that video in youtube.com entitled, "A Journey of Life Together"). When he was in grade 3, from almost the beginning of the school term, he was taunted (v. insulted) by his classmates. He began to feel inferior of himself and his capabilities.

His grade 5 teacher changed the way he looked at himself when she cried, "THAT'S RIGHT STEPHEN!" after he gave a correct answer. He became more confident and a better person.
You can click on the title of this post for the full article.

I suddenly remember one of my students who sent me an SMS last year that said, "Gudpm sir..muzta po..tnx po s mga tnuro nio sa amin..nga2mit q na po n0w.." it means, "Good afternoon sir, how are you. Thank you for what you've taught us. I find it useful."

I wasn't able to get his/her name though, but that message from my former student(+639105425*** is his/her number) is still in my inbox after almost 1 year(i got the message April 19, 2008).

Things like that makes me smile. With what i do everyday, for the past 6years, it has been a routinary task. But for some, what i do makes an impact in their lives. I never knew it will come to this point that I am helping shape the lives of others.

To my former student, whoever you are, THANK YOU!

Saturday, April 11, 2009

The Beautiful Mind of John Nash.

I came across an article about Dr. John Nash(click the title of the post for the article), "the most remarkable mathematician of the second half of the century," according to Mikhail Gromov in 1997.

You're probably familiar with his name if you have seen the movie "A Beautiful Mind" starring Russell Crowe. The movie was inspired from a biography of Dr. Nash of the same title.

Dr. Nash told a reporter once, "If you're going to develop exeptional ideas, it requires a type of thinking that is not simply practical thinking."

And to describe Dr. Nash, i go for this one-liner, "simply a remarkable genius."